Breathe in the Healing Blue Light

Years ago, I used to take acting lessons from the most brilliant teacher ever--- Dennis Moore. (his real name) His class was so amazing. I remember so fondly this one exercise that we would do lying on the floor. We would imagine this healing, blue, cool, comforting, soothing light going through each portion of our body and then we would breathe IN the healing blue light.

One day, after I stopped going to his class a year or two later, i was having an ongoing problem--- I would wake up and my eyes would be swollen into bizarre and uncomfortable shapes. This had been going on for nearly two years and there was no rhyme or reason and I had been to many doctors and all of them were as baffled as I was. Needless to say, this was especially difficult when I needed to look my best for acting gigs and auditions.

One day I remembered how wise and wonderful my acting teacher Dennis was and I thought, if anyone can help me, he surely can! So, I called him to explain that I really wanted to come back to the class but I was having a problem and I wanted to explain it to him and could we talk about it in person? 

"Of course," he said, "Please, yes, Lexie---meet me for breakfast at 10 tomorrow and we can chat." 

I hadn't seen Dennis for nearly two years and while he had always been a really wirey kind of guy--in his mid forties now, I was quite taken aback by how thin he had gone and the deep craggy lines of his face. I noticed that he hardly touched his breakfast which consisted of a bowl of oatmeal. He was so sympathetic and kind and told me that even though I might be self-conscious about my condition, to just come to the class which I did, but then the class had changed. The energy was gone. Something had changed. Dennis had always been so full of life and passion and he was one of the best teachers I've ever had---anywhere! I think I only went a couple more times, but I stopped going again, after just a few weeks.

Several months later, by coincidence, I met a woman from Dennis' acting class, a really funny and adorable actress, a few years older than I. We were actually on our way to NJ to shoot a commercial for the A&P and were chatting like old girlfriends, on the bus on the way over there, even though we really were just acquaintances; but that acting class was like a family of sorts--- AND group therapy, as well! Her name is Kim and we started talking about her reiki healing practice and suddenly, I knew that Kim could help me. Kim herself was skeptical and said, "I have to tell you that reiki is not for everyone." 

"Perhaps, I responded, but this is EXACTLY what I need--- You can help me-- I'm positive!" I was so excited now.

Believe me, when I tell you that I am so NOT the new-agey-airy-fairy-spiritual-type like you cannot believe, but this time was the exception.

I loved those sessions (and I think she charged me all of about 10 bucks for each one, because she knew that I was strapped for cash) and all I can remember is the lovely warmth of the heat of her hands over my eyes and the crystals and the ethereal music and what seemed like maybe 30 minutes was really two hours. One day, she told me that she had just come from visiting Dennis who was in Florida now, very very ill from "cancer." They were very close and very dear friends in addition to student and teacher. I don't know what it was, but there was something in the way that she said cancer that made me question her.

"Kim, does Dennis have AIDS? --- To which she nodded a very painful, 'yes.'" All we could do was hug each other and cry and we chatted a bit more. I was totally in shock--- He had only maybe at most 2 or 3 more weeks to live. 

"How long has he known, I then asked Kim?"

She said, "At least 2 years, now."

I went back to the time that I had had that chat with Dennis... It was only about 7 months earlier... as I walked the 22 blocks back to my apartment--- all I could think was that Dennis had AIDS--- OMG!!! He had AIDS when we had our little breakfast chat and here he was counseling me on my little psycho allergy problem, and he was fucking DYING from a devastating and incurable disease!!!

It was 1986. 

I was so incredibly touched that this self-less man took the time to help me, when in fact, there was no one who could possibly help him--- That is his legacy. That was one great man, who's life was cut way too short by a hideous disease he did not deserve to get.

He died a few weeks later and it was around that time that I stopped going to Kim for the reiki sessions.

Months later, I was chatting with my mom on the phone, who remarked to me.

"You know Lexie, I haven't heard you complain about your eyes swelling for quite some time now."

And suddenly, I realized that she was right! Was it the reiki, or the power of positive thinking, or the laying of healing hands, or the spirit of Dennis?  I'll never know, for sure, but I do know that we are alone and yet never alone. Ask the Universe for what you need and it will come.

Here is to all of my friends who are in need of the healing blue light.

It is always there; all you need to do, is to  B R E A T H E  it in.

Love,

Lexie