meanwhile, back at the ranch---

Vut a veek, its been! I'm going to take a break from my J story because the homefront has once again taken center stage.

The here and now... or as some of us like to call it.

REAL LIFE.

If I copied and pasted all of the emails I've sent out on Adam's behalf in the last two weeks, you'd be sitting and reading for at least a couple of hours, so I'll just be succinct.

Our Committee for Substandard Education is trying their damnedest to FUCK OUR SON OVER.

The chair person, who I normally really like and think is extremely fair and professional, wrote the most disgusting cover letter to the HEAD of SUBSTANDARD EDUCATION IN NEW YORK STATE, that was FULL of inaccuracies, half truths, distortions, and a one dimensional portrayal of our son that painted an EXTREMELY distorted, no just downright, fallacious picture of him as an adolescent with a disability. She also managed to leave out ALL of the really GOOD stuff, he's done like all of the amazing things he's done with his music and the improvements he has made. Instead, she harped on things that he was doing THREE years ago, that he's NO LONGER DOING and the police incident, which while it was happening wasn't fun, wasn't that big a deal. He had calmed down, long before they arrived and stayed calm for the entire three hour hospital visit in the emergency ward, while we waited for the psych doc to show up. And he's been a lot better at home since then. Even at times, quite charming and nice to be around... MUCH, improved.

So, Sam and I together and alone spent a combined time of 7 hours editing her letter, which we just sent off.  Its just wild, what we have to go through to advocate for our child. But, I was actually shaking with rage, while I was writing the letter.

***

Alright, I lied...I'm going to continue with my J story a bit... because I really want to be done with it. Its really helping to get it out there. Let's see... where did I leave off???

Oh yeah... I had just put J's balls on the chopping block.

Sorry to be so gross... but yeah... He just went about his business without hardly skipping a beat. He did arrange a ron day view with a couple for that Friday evening, just a few days later and it was Memorial Day weekend which is a long weekend here in the states for all of my out of country buddies means a three day weekend for some holiday that most of us don't observe.

Sooo... I was driving in to our meeting place--- a trendy hotel, on the edge of our trendy Greenwich Village and I hit fucking traffic because I had a choice of two high ways and I picked the wrong one. (or maybe they were all wrong at that time of day on a holiday weekend) So, to be polite, I called J up to let him know that I might be a bit late.

Then I got an "Oh hun... I don't know... maybe we should just bag it?" Of course, that was very hurtful. Then, he called me up at least half a dozen times, whining more and more each time. Hell, I was the one who was driving in. Chill dude!

All I said was that I was doing my best and that I was making progress and our hosts were expecting us.

Finally, I was only about 45 minutes late and I parked and went into the hotel but I could not find our hosts or him which was annoying after all of his whining, so I sat down in the lobby to wait for them to show up. I waited about 10 minutes and then I went outside and tried to call him and no answer and then I thought I would take a further look and THEN I found him chatting with our hosts!!!

WTF???

Why didn't I just walk out? What a selfish, stupid prick. What an UN-gentleman to not come looking for ME, except that the moment I SAW him, all of that simply dissolved and all I could do was get lost in his smile and gaze---and kisses---It was impossible for us to keep our hands off of each other. If his partner ever finds this, I'm sure that will hurt her, to read that, but its the truth. Our guests were complete newbies to swinging---and they just sat there staring at us, all eyes and mouths agape.

Quite frankly, I barely noticed them at all... They were perfectly pleasant, well-educated, clean-- a late 30s couple that was engaged to be married. Thankfully, she got her period the instant we went back to their room. LOL  phew! And so they mostly just watched which is what I preferred.

not J, however. He actually hated that which of course, always made me feel like a piece of worthless shit.

Their comment to us later, however, on email was that they had never seen  a couple with so much passion for each other and chemistry and that we must never ever leave the other.

right. whatever.

I only saw J four times after that and all of them were from not very good to really not very good experiences. There were two times in June and remember this post at the end of June? The FRAUD ALERT!!!, warning couples that J was a fake?

The second to the last time I saw him, was on a Friday and since we were meeting this couple near Grand Central Station, I took the train in... The couple was from DC and were lawyers...and all I can say is that the dude STANK to high fucking heaven... so much so, that I almost puked all over him.

I could tell that J felt badly and so he took me out to this cute little Mexican place in Grand Central Terminal. I loved these little mini dates and he was always so cute and would look at me so adoringly... oh never mind... it doesn't mean anything.

All this while, I was closing monitoring Dee... She was so lovely and clearly depressed and it wore on me and at the same time, I just didn't know what to do.

I was also chatting with other guys--friends---especially the guys that I had mentioned here

The first four guys, Geoff, John, Mike and Jack, I had all met one time, except for Geoff--two times. And the last guy on the list---the panty hose dude, Steve, I hadn't met as of the end of July, but he wrote me frequently and I enjoyed our online chats. He listened intently about J and was very supportive and encouraged me not to see him any more, but I just couldn't pull myself away.

In early August though, I decided to meet Steve on the upper West Side. He was a perfectly nice gentleman, albeit, not my type at all---and a tad "femme", in my opinion. (he later did confess that he is extremely bi-sexual)

The very next day, however I was back in the city for a date with J... It was a couple that he had presented to me a few times before. The guy was nice looking and about J's age, but the girl was in her very early 20s, but looked very pretty...

I parked my car near his apartment and walked a couple of blocks, to where he was waiting for me--- He was just standing there, leaning against a light post-- smoking a cigarette, looking at me a tad strangely and we cabbed it down to the Lincoln Center area where we were meeting our hosts at a bar just outside of their building.