Movin' along--- The fall of 2006

I really want to get into the meat of my story...ya know, the juicy stuff you can really sink your teeth into? So, let me just summarize some things and then of course--- I can always go back and fill in some of the details, cause they are just so precious. :)

About 8 weeks after that fateful night when I discovered my husband's cyber sex chats, I took a solo trip to visit my mother and sister in Muskegon, Michigan. (it isn't really Muskegon and it isn't even Michigan, but close enough)--- The occasion was my sister's 60th birthday and she is 9.5 years older than me.

I will be devoting space for my sis at a later time--- but for now, suffice it to say that I went to Michigan and I came back to NY on the occasion of my 18th wedding anniversary which is somewhere in the third week of August.

I'm not a very good flier. I have only realized in recent years, that I was okay with flying until IMMEDIATELY after the untimely and sudden death of my brother, who I have already written about as he died on September 11, but in 1987.

So, on that trip home, while waiting for my connecting flight in Cleveland, I noticed a young couple who seemed to be very much in love. She was very pretty and Caucasian and he was without a doubt, a terrorist who was plotting to blow up the plane. Indeed, he was dark, swarthy, bearded and mustachioed and had the look of evil in his black soulless eyes... I casually observed them, feeling my anxiety level rise more and more, and then, she went away (to check with headquarters..) and returned with her final snack and they now seemed incredibly sad about something, but still all over each other, but very sad... Ahhh... yes, of course they were sad, because they were about to fucking die on the plane that we were all about to board!

And then, I started thinking to myself... "Lexie, are you out of your cotton pickin' mind? They are a normal (well maybe not normal) young and in love couple and maybe one of them had a death in the family, or he was going back to Saudi Arabia after they landed in White Plains--- right. Just stop this little mind fuck you have going on with yourself, okay?"

I looked around to see if anyone else was concerned and no I did not see any sign of that and so I did what I absolutely HATE doing when I get on a plane... I trusted. ugh. So, so tough...especially when I look into the cockpit (an apt name if ever there was one) and I see some young, handsome fly boy with my fucking life in his hands and knowing what's really on his mind... Anyway, I boarded the plane and lo and behold, the terrorist couple was sitting one row behind me on the opposite side of the plane--- I turned around as if I was stretching my back in dancer crack addict fashion (which I often do anyway) and caught sight of the terrorist's eyes rolling back inside his head... Evil boy.

Okay, obviously, he wasn't a terrorist (at least not on THAT flight)--- but something else did happen that I'll never forget. As soon as we got to cruising altitude I completely forgot about the fact that the plane was about to blow up, because I was mesmerized by the landscape below and beyond... I could clearly see the outline of the Great Lakes, first Erie and then Ontario and even clear across to Canada---Really, I could see the opposite shore and then some faint land, so that must've been Canada right? We flew over the finger lakes and then the beautiful green, velvety-broccoli covered catskills--- It was so spiritual and beautiful and it seemed that everything was happening exactly as it was supposed to happen.

Now, remember that... Wait a minute... I was supposed to be succinct, (one day, I will surprise you and I will be, but not tonight) but no...this flight was too important... It was just so spiritual and I remembered that very soon my son would finally get the results of his audition--- I don't even want to say what instrument he plays, because I want to try to protect the innocent... Let's just call it an armfartonium, for now. I kept saying to myself that he was king of the armfartoniums! What a wacky mother I am! The entire flight was completely smooth (the way I like it) and uneventful; just beautiful and I was, dare I say, euphoric?

So, we landed and my h took us out for dinner, which was nice. No gift or anything like that, but the dinner was nice. Two days later, I got the mail and a big envelope came for my son... He was accepted into the group! yipppeeee!!! You knew all along that he was going to get in, didn't you?

The fall was busy with my work and taking care of my kids, and my son 1, the armfartonium player, also got a really cool gig playing his horn for a local musical. He was also going to a prestigious local music program at a prestigious music school. I can't divulge any more information than this, because the groups he played in are just that elite and teeny-tiny.

Yeah... he's shit-assed talented... really proud... well... yes, proud, but quite frankly... and he has said this himself... He doesn't deserve to be as good as he is...He hardly practices... Maybe 5 or 6 hours a week. (tops) That's it. God gave him this sick sick talent, that's all. Its easy for him, just as its easy for my Svetlana ballerina goddess to lift her gorgeous legs 210 (yes 210) degrees in any direction. (Please remember that they removed all of her bones in childhood.)

Soooooooooo... about 2 months later... le music arrived for le music festival that son 1 was going to participate in! I checked it out and the pieces looked pretty interesting and on top of it, it looked like the conductor had written them. Cute, I thought. He's going to have the kids play a couple of his compositions.

I was still going for my walks and even though I hate winter with a passion that I cannot even begin to say, (but you're sure to get a gutz of it later!), I enjoyed my fall walks and felt a kind of peace and also a feeling that something was about to happen. I have to admit, that much of my peacefulness was due to the success of my son, not anything directly related to me. That isn't right. It was grotesquely out of proportion, but this event seemed to be an important stepping stone to his getting into a great college music program.

After the musical was over and another prestigious gig where my son was the principal armfartonium-- (God, they played Sibelius!)--- Finally, I could focus... (notice that I said *I* could focus, not *HE* could focus) on what was to come... the BIG gig--- and naturally, wanting my son to do really well at le big gig, I decided to see if somehow I could acquire a recording (neat little trick) of this obscure music that he was playing, so that he could not practice it ( I need one of those yahoo eyes rolling smileys)... So, of course, I googled the composer, etc. Eventually, I found the tunes on CD Baby and I wrote a little note in the place which was provided to write little notes... no biggy and forgot all about it.

Next thing I knew, I had a message from the composer/director himself.

Like wtf???

"Hi, Lexie, Are you one of the musicians?" 8-)

Of course, I should have been one of the musicians, and not some kids obsessed MOTHER, but the point is--- I thought... How kind and not "all full of himself"... too big for his britches that he can't be bothered to reach out to the lowly commoners.

So, we exchanged some brief friendly emails (I tried VERY hard not to be tooooo pandering and stage-mommish, ya know?) and he had told me that ordering was a lot easier on his web site. He also invited me to come and sit in on the rehearsals if I liked. Oh my... How intriguing that idea was to me... and even just a tad well--- something or other, but in my creative, dreamy, wildly imaginative brain--- not exactly devoid of all innocence.

I started looking at this dude's web site, too and I have to say that it was really cool. He had a lot of pics of himself and others too and just a lot of information period...including his grandmother's recipes and cool quotes from all of the cool quoters of all time and a book list... A renaissance man--- cool, cool, cool. He has the kind of face that looks different in every pic, but dark full head of hair, of some sort of Mediterranean ethnicity. Handsome and built and warm engaging smile-- all of that and a creative genius too... He hadn't just written a couple of tunes... It was HUNDREDS!

I felt an attraction.

I was attracted to him.

I can't tell you why exactly. I can't even make any real sense of it, to this day... but it grew like a weed in May.

Did you really think that you were going to get a "summary?" haha!

My son left for the festival a couple of days before we did... and the day before we left, I took one look at myself and instantaneously dialed my hair dresser for an emergency hair appointment.

This is very painful to write and I'm afraid, its only going to get worse.