I've been living with it all along

Alright--- I was going to go on with my story--- about Mr. Big Bottdam Big Dick

"J"

in some kind of chronological order based on the EARTH'S CLOCK, but really time is just a relative thing, anyway. isn't it?

So yes, I got human papillomavirus from my very own subhuman

SPAM BOT

How do I know for sure that I got it from him? Well, to be honest, I don't. Its not that I was sleeping around or anything like that. Its worse actually.

I will get back to the story in more of a chronological order and you can decide for yourself. Ultimately though, I have no one else to hold accountable, but myself.

I made my bed.

Oh, fuck... no... I did not say that. But, its SO bad, I have to leave it in.

Jesus... even in the face of adversity I can still make lame-assed jokes and that one was especially lame. sorry.

The first person I reached out to this morning after I posted my SOS, was an amazing "sex addiction" friend who will remain anonymous... But, she got back to me in a matter of minutes and told me that her hubbie gave it to her too AND warts as well!!! So romantic, isn't it?

Is that what they mean when they say "She loves him warts and all?"

Then, I called my husband up and told him. Have to say as usual, he's been incredibly kind and understanding. I'm sure that he blames himself too, because he IS at the root of all of this, but.............. no............ I made the ultimate decision to give my body to this suppurating whore.

I love that word--- SUPPURATING, because it sounds exactly like what it is.

OOZING PUSS

Look, I am really really angry.

I really am a Hungarian Jewish girl from Indiana and there are only about 3 other women on the whole face of the earth who share that distinction--- but you have no idea the depths of my anger. Think Zsa Zsa Gabor on acid, and that'll give you a bit of a clue.

That fucktard can't get HPV------ no, he can only  

GIVE IT!!!

GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR.....

     ---ammendment on 9.30. Actually, he CAN get HPV, that's how they GIVE it--- and they can get cancer too--- of the PENIS--- 

Sweet.

I need an evil smiley. wwuuuhahahaha!!!

***************

I haven't even started to tell you what kind of mind fuck games he played with me... Yes, a lot of it, I allowed. I over-looked, I minimized, I justified----- I did. So, of course, I am angry at myself, as well.

And as if all of this is not enough, it all happened

TODAY, which I was going to write about anyway but more cryptically is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY since I sent J's partner some anonymous emails explaining as kindly as I possibly could, what he was up to. Her "D-Day". ugh--- months later, I found HER blog. oh my.

AS the dildo turns.

Yes, its hypocritical. I was just borrowing him for a couple hours a month and if it wasn't me, it'd be some other bimbo. So, I was fine until he dumped me because I didn't want to have to fornicate with other men in order to be with him.

There, I said it.

Yes, ladies and gentleman----- I sublimated my own heart and soul to give pleasure to that sociopath who used me like a prop--- only worse. Oh, I had a million excuses why it was okay and please know--- that AFTER he told me that he had a partner that he had DEEP FEELINGS FOR---(I need some of those cute yahoo smileys with rolling eyes) I didn't just jump straight into bed with him. nope And I didn't jump straight into some other dude's bed with him either, right away.

In true sex offender predatory fashion--- I was his little cold frog that he threw into a bot (hmmm... I wrote bot--- I rather like that! I'll keep that typo in.) of lovely cool water--- and then the heat was ever so slowly turned up, imperceptibly so... meanwhile, he distractied me with adorable stories and much mirth and laughter and gaiety and before I knew it----------

oops.

I was done hard boiled frog soup...

a suppurating ho in my own right. :(((

who knew???

But, there is so much more to the story... and yes, I WAS crazy. I realized pretty early on when I started catching him in lie after lie that something was seriously wrong, but he was just so damned cute.  (My nickname for the last several months has been "predator", for that is what he is. A sexual predator.) And I was TRYING to find someone else. I went on about 2 dozen other FIRST dates (no sex with any of them, I swear), but nooooo... no one did it for me like my predator--- so sweet.

I so wish I could put a pic of him up, but he looks like at least 2 or 3 young actors in Hollywood today-- only better.

Oh the devil doth have a pleasing shape. :(((

I wasn't looking to take him away from his partner and I wasn't looking to get hurt and I definitely wasn't looking to get sick. I've had some health issues all year long and I don't know if this is at the root of it or not, but actually, I was starting to feel a lot better.