First of all...Before I get into things--- I've had such a wonderful day! I've been productive and creative, like the old, old OLD Lexie and damn it all. But it sure feels awfully nice! It gives me such hope. But anyway, I do want to go on with my story, and I have a lot of them. I think that you're really going to love this one. Before I write anymore, I am going to confess that a lot of my actions/behavior were/are entirely contrary to anything I've ever done or any moral value I've ever held. I don't want to get into a deep thing why i had this sudden shift. I could come up with a hundred valid reasons why I was so vulnerable, but for now--- I'll just tell the story as it unfolded. Most of the time, I won't interject a lot of editorializing, because I want it to play as it did at that time
.
Sooooo... What the hell... It was mid July of 2008 and I was on this online dating site. Lava Life. How hot and sexy. (yes, that's the point--duh!) Ever hear of it? I think I did a search of good sites for online dating, and this one was near the top. I had already tried, Match dot CON and really, either the men were about 70, fat, ugly, bald,(but the icky kind of bald), hairy and pretending to be 45, OR trying to scam me out of the money I don't have. So, lava life seemed to have more of the type of man I was looking for. Somewhat urbane, a bit metro, cute, nice body, educated, fun, under 50, etc. I spent HOURS, chatting online and YES, this is addictive, especially if one is in the kind of place I was in which was a very ugly lonely painful place.
I was ripe for the picking, as they say.
Then, this absolutely gorgeous heartthrob, Mr.Big30 with the "9" thick, should you like", penis responded to my smile. I felt that rush of adrenaline that one feels when they are infatuated with someone... all nervous and giddy. Its a rush for sure.
Now, Mr. Bigdick30 didn't make it easy for me. He said that he had read my profile and it appeared we were looking for "different things..."
I said, " really? I don't think so. ;)"
Then... he wanted to see more pics and he gave me his email addie to send them to.
Bottdam33@fuckyoo.com
No problemo... I scrambled for a full length pic and another head shot. Sent them off, but then realized that, in my nervousness, I had typed in "Bottom33@fuckyoo.com", instead of "Bottdam33" (hmmm... maybe a more apt name, after all...)
He asked me if I had anything more revealing since I was a dancer (and he knew a lot of dancers) and I really didn't. After I passed the "selective" pic test, he got back to me and I said, maybe we could meet for a drink sometime. (notice that I said *I*)
His response was, "Drinks are just a tease... If we meet, I'd want it to lead to something" ;)
(uh huh... That's what he said.)
I said, "do you mean that you just meet a woman for the first time and have sex without getting to know her a bit?"
And he said, "yes, but sometimes we don't have sex, we just give each other a massage--- very intimate."
I said, "really?"
"Yes, really--- I'm always very respectful of a woman's boundaries.... Women always say that I make them feel very comfortable."
-- I see...
Then... he had an issue, because I couldn't "host." I was such a green newbie that when he said "host" it conjured up images of a man with a harem of women around him, all massaging each other with aroma therapy oils.
I said, "sorry, I'm not into a group thing."
Big, said--- "LOL, no its not a group thing--- just one on one fun."
Oh, great--- but, I couldn't host so... and then abruptly, he said..
"gotta run
ciao!"
Still, we shared some emails and I told him that I was trying to get over this guy that had done a real number on me and that my husband had given me permission to date. I even sent him my website (on my real email) and he complimented it, but gave me some pointers on my pics. Whatever. I loved the attention and couldn't believe that such a gorgeous creature had bestowed his presence on me. :( And that little narc ComposTer, could just go and fuck himself. I was movin' on, so there! (not that he even cared) :(
I know... have to say something right here... You're going... Lexie... wtf were you doing? How more obvious could he be??? You are how old? Yes, I was fifty fucking two. Doesn't matter. I might as well have been 14. Maybe a part of me died at that age. Yes, I think a part of me did die then... it was a bad time.
But never mind, it gets even better. You'll see...
***
So after the abrupt sign off, I thought--- huh, wtf??? Single guy--- 38... I looked at HIS pics. The first one, was indeed unbelievably handsome and partially cropped, standing next to him was another guy, a handsome black dude, crisp clean white background and the pic truly smacked of two handsome Macy models with pepsodent smiles. Actually, if the truth be known, they looked kinda gay. If I had only seen the one pic, I would've thought that he was a fake, perhaps. The other two pics looked more candid and were each with a woman wrapped around him. (one, I later found out was his sister! hmmmmm) and the other I don't know... but huge, smiles and still very handsome, but older, I thought--- like a man well into his forties. I have a good eye for that sort of thing. Something was just off, there, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it and dismissed it.
In the meantime, I was chatting for HOURS (yes, HOURS!) every day with many, many men and there were 2 or 3 others besides Mr. Big30 that I fancied. There was another really charming handsome man in NJ... but I was starting to get an uneasy feeling about him, because he ONLY had the one pic that looked like a dude from a travelogue--haha... But, before I knew it, I had a date and the guy only lived about 10 miles away.
It was very nice for my first date. I spent like two days picking out my outfit, (which was to become my little summer date outfit).. A silk skirt with a blue and white paisley design, just above the knee with a very light knit button down v-kneck sweater--- with a sleeve just above the elbow--- form fitting, cute and fresh, but not in any way cheap looking or slutty. I always have a problem with shoes due to my years of ballet dancing, mostly, but I found some comfortable black mules with about a 3" heel. I'm just shy of 5'7, so not so tall that I'd tower over my dates. (although lots of men lie about their height, I found).
I found this all over body bronzer shit,(which smelled like vanilla) because it was the middle of July and I was still the color of vanilla yogurt. (my natural coloring) I slathered that on with a mixture of Jergens moisturizer with a bit of self-tanner. (great stuff... just a hint of warm color!)
Hair, makeup, brush teeth... brush teeth again-- (don't forget your tongue!) mouthwash... Hours of prep work. All ready!!! not bad, for an old girl!
nervous.
Met my date at the bar of a very nice and very close to my home restaurant. (funny, that place burned to the ground about 8 months ago in an "accident."). Really, it was a nice date. He was a bit heavier than I was expecting, but he was kinda cute in a Robert Morse kinda way-- dirty blond-- Italian-- interesting, good conversationalist, bright (had gone to Columbia for a master's in psychology--- he said) and he shared a lot with me about online dating. He told me to watch out for Spam Bots--- A friend of his (probably him) had one sent to him and it did something nightmarish to his computer. He told me that the female "bots" usually posed as very attractive women, but they weren't real people. So, we finished our drink and quesadilla and went back to my car... And he started kissing me. Aside from the narc composTer on one occasion, I hadn't kissed a man in a very very long time. Yes, considering I was quickly approaching my 20th wedding anniversary, very sad. He was a very good kisser and I was enjoying it---- when all of a sudden--- fuck balls, but I started
CRYING
as in REAL tears, just streaming down my subtly bronzed cheeks.
So, sexy isn't it? But, I had plenty to cry about. Its just not the thing one wants to do when out with a cute young guy (37ish) on your first date. But, I couldn't help it... The kiss just flooded me with so much pent up emotion and there was only one way for it to go.
Blessedly, he left my car, not too much later and we each went our separate ways, but I left feeling hopeful and I definitely wanted to see him again. We did make a date, but I had to break it (for a very good reason which I'll get into later) and then I never saw him again, but that was okay because after the bloom of that first date wore off, I realized that there really wasn't anything there, of any substance.
The following morning... I woke up in a pissy mood... I kept thinking about the spam botts...I was just feeling so lost and vulnerable-- and then in the shower, (where I do my best thinking)--- I thought--- Fuck!!!
Spam Bot
Bottdam???
That little fucker is a spambot, I bet... I still wasn't completely sure WHAT that was, but I knew it wasn't good and that first pic was just too professional looking and not close enough to the other two pics... And that other "handsome" creep in NJ... he's a fake too. Going on about how he loves ballroom dancing--- my ass! Probably really some smelly gross 350 lb. 65 yr old geeser, with hair growing out of his ears!
I'm not gonna let those two fuckers pull one over on me like that!!!
And so, later that morning--- I took care of both of them, and I must say--- That felt awfully good.
At first.
No comments:
Post a Comment